It is the day after Paul was laid to rest...

It is the day after Paul was laid to rest. I have so many thoughts racing around my head at the moment it hurts. So, what I am doing is telling you these thoughts, right or wrong, just as Paul did in many of his personal articles.

My first thought is to Carole. When I saw you yesterday I wanted to tell you that everything would be ok, but how, when things can never be the same for you, Kane and Sophie. The only thing I can tell you is this: The tremendous pain you are all feeling will, in time, ease and only happy memories will remain. In the meantime if you need anything, no matter how trivial, just ask, even if you just want Leica to take Dante for a walk again. You and Kane were so brave at the church service it made me want to cry and I did inside as I am sure everyone else who was there did also.

To all the people who Paul was friends with and those he helped I want to ask you to now offer your help. There are enough of us with big shoulders with plenty of crying room on them, offer them, Paul would really appreciate it. After all, he loved his family very, very much.

We need to stick together now more than ever, we owe Paul this much, at least. Paul’s concept of a brotherhood of iron, no matter how idealistic, is a good one, let’s make this concept a reality. Even if it is just amongst those of us who had the good fortune to know Paul. Paul Ehren spoke at the funeral, remembering Paul. It was during this speech that I realised that the people who cared and mattered were all there and together we can and will make a difference. There will be a number of us competing at the Welsh championships this September, representing Paul and Biohazard. However, just representing is not enough. We need to give each other help, advice and support and I would like us to meet on a regular basis to appraise each other on our progress. Paul will be there, in spirit, with that big cheesy grin, loving every minute.

I will really miss Paul’s articles and advise, I will try to keep the articles coming and I ask you to do the same. To be a bodybuilder does take a certain amount of intelligence, use it, put your thoughts and experiences down on paper. It might come out ok and you could be on the web site or in the Governor.

To Phil and Gary who will now be running the supplement side of the business, I wish you every success and any help you need, just ask as I am sure there are many others who are willing to do likewise.

Everyone should go back to December’s articles and read the one about the Samurai. You will see how relevant it is to the current situation. Paul saw and made the best of every situation even at some difficult times last year. I spoke to him about a week and a half before his death and after speaking to him I felt I could accomplish anything. He was so up, everything was going so well for him, so if there is any comfort to offer his family it is that when he passed away he was extremely happy. Two of the best days I had last year were down to Paul, these were the filming of the training video and the photo shoot in the barn. I was proud and privileged to be a part of these events and will always remember them. Paul told me that he would sometimes watch my leg training slot in the video as inspiration for his own workouts. Imagine how proud I felt when he told me that!

I always told Paul that he should charge more people for the advice he gave. I now know the pleasure he had in helping people far outweighed any monetary gains.

My final thought is for Richard. I don’t know how you could have possibly done the things you have done, all I know is that you cannot possibly be a man. The best advice I can give you is to crawl back under the stone you came from and quickly. There are a lot of people gunning for you and I would tell them not to waste their energy on the likes of you, or get into trouble over you. If you go under that stone now we will try to forget you ever existed.

I was and am proud to have known Paul and call him my friend. I know he will be with me in the gym pushing me back on the bench and screaming for one more rep.

Paul you will be sadly missed.